Saturday, September 25, 2010

Temptation 101

*Note: Found this in one of my journals. I'm so proud of myself.
Originally written last October 21, 2009
9:30pm Wedenesday

It's been a week since I wrote here. So many things happened in a week! Like, I went to the city for three consecutive days. A big deal because I HATE going to the city. Really. Quite unbelievable for I studied there since I was in high school. I AM NOT A CITY GIRL. Alright. Enough of city talk. Things happened. Yes, a lot of happenings of sort. 

What is really boggling my mind? Oh gawd. NA (*initials), my college batch mate's boyfriend confessed that he had a crush one me back in high school. What?!! Oh.I noticed him back then but he was a junior. I found him a KID. I was flattered. Mixed feelings. At the same time, I was wondering if he was being honest or he was just playing games with me. I kinda played on, wanted to know the truth.

He told me he would break up with my batch mate for me (they were together for 2 yrs and I'm in a good 4-year relationship). I told him he is TOO LATE because I am engaged. That I'm very sure I love Gabby so much.

If we were in high school, who knows? BUT- today is the present. Present. I'm not fond of dwelling in the past.

I just cant hurt Baby like this just because I want to play a stupid game with someone whom I'm not sure I can trust. What an INDECENT proposal! NA asked if we can have a secret relationship since Gabby is not here (he is on board, working) and he wouldn't find out anyway. 

Like, hello?! the idea of infidelity thrilled me. BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT. I cant indulge myself in such thing. A MORTAL SIN in a relationship as I perceive it. I put myself in my batch mate's and Gabby's shoes- IT WOULD HURT BIG TIME. I know that. I do not want Gabby to do the same thing to me! 

What a freakin' major TURN OFF! I pity his girl friend.I'M SURE THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME HE DID THIS TO HIS GF. I'M SURE OF IT. I BELIEVE IN MY INTUITIONS, I CAN FEEL THE VIBES. Goodness. Too late NA, though you are quite cute- I belong to Gabby. He owns me. SEALED. TAKEN.

I kept thinking about it actually and told my best friend about it.  Shocking. I didn't see this coming. I won't play silly games.

I was ALMOST tempted, almost gave in. But I just can't do it! I just love Gabby so much that I can't hurt him big time. He doesn't deserve to be fooled. I'm secured with him, we have a wonderful God-centered relationship. I WON'T RUIN IT.

I feel so proud of myself because I didn't gave in, yes, I didn't. My conscience will eat me if ever. I won't let that happen.

*I LOVE GABBY AND I WON'T HURT HIM. THIS EXPERIENCE MADE ME REALIZE THAT I REALLY AND TRULY LOVE HIM.
*I WON'T TRUST ANY OTHER MAN BUT HIM.
*I WILL LOVE HIM MORE AND MORE.
*I will ALWAYS remember our 5 Pillars of Relationship:
      LOVE.  TRUST.  PATIENCE. LOYALTY.  FAITH


The Verdict?
I told Gabby about it. I had to tell him. I always let him know , he is my confidante. :)
NA's gf knew about it through a common friend.I don't know what exactly happened but they are still together up to now.

2 comments:

  1. hmm.. intriga ni ka haw.. hai.. na sad ko sa gf.. but good to know na ur strong, though i don't know gabby so well, i hope he will forever treasure u the way you treasure him.. i pray for strength pra cno 2 since indi man pirme hapos ang gna-agyan nyo.. miss you ka..take care..

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  2. hain rai. kilala mo ang girl ah. i dnt knw kng sila pa jpun.. Almost, almost gave in. di lng gd kaya,tsk. well, i love gabby so much lng gd. :) thank you rai. i miss you.. God bless.

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